The Truth Never Set Me Free (Bellz)

[Brie Lewis Ledger]

{ IF I’M A BAD PERSON YOU DON’T LIKE ME I GUESS I’LL MAKE MY OWN WAY }
IT'S A CIRCLE, A MEAN CYCLE
- - - - - - I CAN’T EXCITE YOU ANY MORE

The pungent smell of mold hit Brie as she as she lowered herself onto the damp, dirty, stone floor of the dungeon. A cold draft enveloped her bare arms and neck, causing her to shiver. Though she came through this part of the castle often, she never spent much time here; it was too cold for her tastes and the wetness discouraged her little fires she would make sometimes. It was, however, a perfect place for hiding things and that was what Brie was doing.

Yesterday, Brie had received, most unexpectedly, a letter from her mother. It was completely out of the blue. She hadn’t spoke to her mother in over 6 years, not even on her birthday or Christmas, and now, all of the sudden, the little bitch sends her a fucking letter like they were bloody best friends or something. Well, screw her. That night, she hadn’t been able to sleep. She couldn’t get her mum and her dad and the rest of her family off her mind. And so, she started a diary, something she regretted when she woke up. The thought of someone finding it had nagged her all through out her classes. It wouldn’t do for someone to go rifling through her secret thoughts.

The entry had gone something like this:
I never thought I would be one to keep a diary. Seriously, the idea is retarded. Writing down your thoughts in a little journal that doesn't give a crap about anythings. Hell, it can't even think. It's a bloody inanimate object. It can't keep secrets, it's all too readable and, in all honesty, it sucks.
So why am I keeping a diary? Well, I don't even know. Really. I just sat down and started writing. I guess you could say I'm venting. I couldn't find anyone else to yell about the crap that's happened in my life. So, lucky little diary here get's to be yelled at. Feel sorry for it yet? Don't worry, you will.
Now, before I get into all my juicy thought's, I'm going to issue a warning. If I catch ANYONE so much as standing next to this, I will personally dig their hearts out with a goddamn spoon. This is my fucking shit, Don't think I'm making empty threats either. I can, and will, kill you. Slowly.
What was I going to write about again? Oh yes! I got a letter from my mum...
Really, if she thinks that she can let that bastard husband of her toss me out onto the streets then waltz back into my life 6 years later, then she's a bloody idiot. I mean, really! She gave up all rights to call me her daughter when she let him have reign over my fate. She's a bitch.
I wonder if he knew about her letter. Maybe I should send it to him. He's punish her for sure. He doesn't want his family consorting with 'demons' like myself.
If she wanted me to be her daughter still, she should have thought about it when she refused to stand up for me. I have disowned her just as she has me. If she regrets it now, well, that's just too fucking bad.
I don't think I feel like writing anymore.
Now, piss off diary before I throw you into the fire.

Brie removed a brick from the wall and shoved the little black notebook behind one of the bricks in the wall. She had just replaced the slimy stone when she heard footsteps come up from behind her.
‘Who’s there?’

[/color]she snarled

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[Nikolai Viktor Amsel]

Professor Nikolai Amsel had gotten a letter from a Slytherin prefect that some first year girl was cutting herself in the bathroom from being homesick. The prefect didn't want her to get in trouble, just someone to talk to. He stopped grading papers and went to the first year dorms. While he did dislike the smell of the dungeons, something about the Slytherin common room made him feel at home. Like he was back in Norway happy in Durmstrang. For all of the flaws that Durmstrang had, he was happy there.

He talked the girl down and helped her heal her arms and clean up the blood. Nikolai didn't want the girl to hurt herself any more, but he knew there wasn't much he could do to help her. Nikolai hugged the girl carefully and left her to write home to her family. He walked down the stairs and saw a redheaded girl pouring over a book, looking like she was trying to set the pages on fire with her hateful glare of death. Nikolai leaned against the wall and just watched this girl write to her heart's content. He knew that it would be difficult to be a student in Hogwarts, especially one in Slytherin. When he was in school, being considered a darker witch or wizard was a good thing. Normal even. Here at Hogwarts people in Slytherin were considered abnormal and demented. He could relate to them. While he did teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, he was well trained in the Dark Arts. He always believed you had to know the Dark Arts to properly defend against them.

He walked a little closer, mainly to go to the door to leave the common room, but was slightly amused when she snarled at him,
"Professor Amsel, might want to watch your tone Miss. Ledger." While he was never a professor who demanded respect from his students, he was definitely going to want a civil tone when they spoke to him.

[Brie Lewis Ledger]

{ IF I’M A BAD PERSON YOU DON’T LIKE ME I GUESS I’LL MAKE MY OWN WAY }
IT'S A CIRCLE, A MEAN CYCLE
- - - - - - I CAN’T EXCITE YOU ANY MORE

'I wouldn't watch my tone around the goddamn president of the bloody US, so why would I watch it around you?'

[/color] Brie came back with an obvious lack of respect towards the professor. She rolled her eyes. 'What are going to do about it anyways? Throw me in detention? Like I give a shit. Fail me on my next test? I repeat: Like. I. Give. A. Fucking. Shit.'[/color] She forced herself from the ground and dusted off her now slightly damp trousers. The ginger had little qualms about swearing in front of teachers. If they told her not to, she told them to go suck it. Respect was not one of the snake's strong points. She only gave it to those who truly deserved it, not because their title or position demanded it.

By now, Brie didn't except people to take offense at her language or disrespectful disposition. It was the treatment she gave even her closest friends. So far, the only person who could get a little reverence from the girl was her grandmother, Pepper. The old woman's name was actually Gertrude, but both her and the Slytherin girl agreed that the name was retarded and decided on Pepper. It seemed to match the fiery spunk she had. The name had a sense of fierceness to it, and God forbid, that woman could be. Anyone who could stand up to Brie's father, or, ex-father, had to have some sort of fire in them.

Of course, the two witch women didn't see eye to eye on everything. How could they? Brie's grandmother didn't understand the girl's bitterness towards her family, nor her drive for revenge. It was a common argument in their household. Brie had, at first, wondered if she should tell Pepper about the letter, but then quickly discarded the idea. The woman would have thought Brie ought to forgive her mum and write back. If Brie was going to write back, she would tell the bitch exactly how she felt about the shit she had tried to feed her.

She shook herself from the thoughts of her mum and the letter. It was in the past for now. It wasn't worth dragging it up in front of her teacher. The stupid thing made her feel weak, and if she was to have some sort of dignity, weakness wasn't an option.

'What are you doing down here, anyways?'[/color]
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[Nikolai Viktor Amsel]

Nikolai smirked a little when she told him off, oh he had to think that she was adorable when she snapped at him. He always appreciated students with a little backbone around a professor. Kept things from getting boring around the school.
"Sit here amused by it. Students with a backbone always interest me more than the sniveling ones who kiss ass for extra credit." He took a seat on the leather couch and watched her so on her little rant to him. Nikolai was amused by her, she was everything that he was when he was a student in Durmstrang. Once his older cousin left the school and left him alone, everything got better for him. He was able to do what he wanted and mouth off to whoever he wanted. He outgrew the rebellious mouthing off phase, and now he was all about getting justice and overthrowing the Ministry.

Most of the students would call him sir and try to suck up in class and it drove him crazy. It made him miss Durmstrang, any student who sucked up to teachers there would be publicly shamed for it and called a mudblood. The joke was that only muggle born students had to prove themselves that much at a wizarding school. While he never would never call anyone a mudblood, it was something he was trained to believe. He didn't care about magical lineage, but it was always a tidbit he thought about when students would trip over each other to answer his questions.

Nikolai got comfortable on the black leather couch and watched her over, she was a pretty girl. He was a bit of a sucker for redheads, but since she was a student she was off limits. He was happy with Meleny anyway. So very happy. He smiled when she asked what he was doing down there,
"Head of Slytherin. One of your prefects called me down to help some first year who is hurting herself." Nothing that a good Head of House wouldn't have handled. He just liked spending time in the dungeons anyway, it was homey.
"Wanna talk about why when I came down you were trying to burn a hole in that book with your hate glare?" He asked with a slight smirk on his face.

[Brie Lewis Ledger]

{ IF I’M A BAD PERSON YOU DON’T LIKE ME I GUESS I’LL MAKE MY OWN WAY }
IT'S A CIRCLE, A MEAN CYCLE
- - - - - - I CAN’T EXCITE YOU ANY MORE

Not particularly wanting to stand or return to her spot on the ground, the girl flopped down on the couch directly opposite the professor. She stretched her feet across the sleek, black, leather cushions, successfully making it impossible for anyone else to join her on her perch. She examined her right hand, which was covered in various doodles, for a moment before returning her attention (somewhat) to Nikolai. ‘I can’t decide if I want to take that as a complement or a sense of weakness on your behalf. Probably not the latter, seeing as finding a punishment that actually has any effect on me is a problem most teachers have. Not that I give a shit. Yes. I’ll take it as a complement. I am unpunishable.’

[/color]She smirked then let her hand fall onto the couch.

Even though Brie was pretty much a muggleborn witch (her mother was a witchborn muggle, or Squib, and her father a true muggle), she felt no need to prove herself, at least, not in that way. She spent most of her time showing to her father that, if he wanted her to be a bloody demon, she would be the best there was. He couldn’t see her now, of course, but one day, he would and he would want to take back every nasty name he called her the day she was cast out and Brie wouldn’t let him. If she didn’t have such a drive for vengeance, she doubted she would work as hard on her studies as she did now. Every ounce of knowledge she picked up now would be used against him and his family one day. They would burn in the fiery hells they claimed she belonged to. And she would sure as hell love it.

‘Of course they called you. Too fucking weak and senseless to do it themselves. Really, someone needs to hire better prefects. Or just ditch the idea altogether. What’s the point, anyways? They don’t do anything except sit around on their fucking, fat asses all day ordering about common folk and kissing up to professors in hopes of keeping their positions.’ [/color]

When the professor mentioned her secret diary, she had to bite her tongue to keep from reacting to the shock. She had been so careful, too. At least he didn’t know what it was. Actually, that was a lie. He probably knew what it was. ‘No, I’m not going to fucking talk about it. It’s my business, not yours. And if you continue to pry, then I will declare this conversation over and find a way to kill you in your sleep. Is that understood?’ [/color]
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[Nikolai Viktor Amsel]

Nikolai watched her slump down on the couch across from him, she was a firey student and he always appreciated that in his students. He smiled when he saw the doodles on her hands, he used to do that a lot when he was younger. He could never remember his assignments so writing them down on his arm was helpful to remembering what he had to do.
He laughed when she made her comment about if he was complimenting her or showing her weakness,
"Oh sweetie, I'm Durmstrang trained, they beat the weakness out of you on the first day." When she made her comment about not being able to be punished, he had to cock an eyebrow at her,
"Do many professors try to punish you?" He understood the slight challenge in her tone and if he was less of a man, he might accept that challenge. He was noble and he was in a relationship. He wasn't about to risk his life trying to flirt with an underage student. That was something that maybe his cousin Vasch would attempt, but Nikolai never would.

He knew that she was angry, and she probably had her reasons and while he was a professor and he was her Head of House, he really wasn't going to push it. If she wanted to talk to him about it, then she would. That's all there was. He was taught that respect was earned not given, and the same went with trust. If she wanted to trust him with her secrets, then he would protect them to his grave. Until then he was just enjoying the comforting environment and the brash mouthed company.

He laughed when she had her rant about the prefects,
"Didn't even get off their asses to get me. Wrote me a damn letter." He knew he wasn't really supposed to bad mouth students but there was no one around and he was sure that by the end of this conversation he would have some dirt on Brie to keep her from getting him in trouble with Professor Devereux.

Nikolai held his hands up in surrender,
"Like I actually care what it is, juts making sure you're not getting into trouble with anything. Would hate to have to watch another student get hauled off to Azkaban for whatever it is you're hiding." He shrugged it off and examined the common room,
"Cozy environment you guys got down here, I like it."

[Brie Lewis Ledger]

{ IF I’M A BAD PERSON YOU DON’T LIKE ME I GUESS I’LL MAKE MY OWN WAY }
IT'S A CIRCLE, A MEAN CYCLE
- - - - - - I CAN’T EXCITE YOU ANY MORE

Brie smirked and chuckled, mostly to herself. ‘I’m sure I could find some sort of weakness. Everybody is subject to it. Well, except me, of course. We all know I’m so fucking amazing it hurts.’

[/color] She laughed again and shook her head. ‘Try is the key word in the sentence. Seriously, anything short of, I dunno, boiling me in oil or whatever, doesn’t work. They all lack the creativity needed. Unlike you, they seem to mind my language and disregard for the rules and “lack of respect”. If they want my respect, then they need to try something other than detention, because, like I said before, I don’t give a shit.’[/color]

Brie shifted her weight on the couch in attempt to keep her leg from falling asleep and gave a heavy sigh. ‘If America wasn’t such a shit hole, I probably wouldn’t even bother with this place. I don’t understand why my gran likes it there. Everyone’s fat, there are no good restaurants and the accent is retarded. Oh yes, and did I mention that we are surrounded by a bunch of witch hating, Bible thumpers? I wouldn’t mind going to a school were that actually posed a challenge. I think Pepper thinks this place might soften me up a bit. I don’t want to become a softy, though. I wanna toughen up, become as invincible as I can. Get ready for the shit life throws at you. When shit comes my way, I wanna be able to yell suck it, and mean it.”[/color] She shook her head and wondered why on Earth she was telling him this.

When the professor mentioned the prefect’s writing him a letter she laughed loudly and beat her fist against the leather. ‘Hah! Lazy ass-holes. What if the kid had successfully killed herself before you got there? They’d have been murders, the lot of them. Not that they give a fuck, I’m sure. Even I would make a better prefect. And that is saying something, I’m sure.’ [/color]

Brie raised an eyebrow. ‘Really now? What could possible be in that book that would get me sent to prison? Plans to assassinate the minister? Come on. The worst I’d get is a telling off for my ‘foul language’. Maybe I should make up some crap about killing the queen or something though, just to see their reactions. That would be funny. No. Anything that could get me sent to Azkaban stays up here.’ [/color]She tapped her head and smirked.
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words 441 tag Bellz notes Language warning
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